Still a TEENager

SO I'm now twenty!! But I'd like to think of it as twenteeeeeeeen! Because being a teenager is fun-ER! and cool-ER! and bet-tER!

*my girlies tal.joycie.sxcMel*

*The food at I'm Angus! *

simply delicious! so tender, so scrumptions...let me tell you, it melts in you mouth! (literally!)

*Cupcake from Cupcake on Pitt as an alternate bday cake =)*

*Getting carried away at Shark Hotel*

All in all, such a great night! got home at 7am in the morning (making my dad angry was worth it!). Bumped into my bro and his friend before and after clubbing, obviously drunk, so was very embarassing! Always wonder why (oh WHY?) my brother is everywhere I am when I'm not being 'good'? =(

Did everything possible that you could do on a night out in Sydney:

Eat, Drink, Club and Karaoke XD

the fun-nEST and cool-EST and best-EST night ever!

The Life of Death

This topic seems to be coming up alot these days. I dont really know why. Somehow, this is probly the ONE topic that always makes me nervous and panic. Personally, I have never encountered death at a close range before. Both my parents are still with me (thank god!), my grandparents died before I was born, and with the exception of a *distant* uncle who passed away two years ago, I never experienced what losing someone feels like.

And quite frankly, I never want to. Sometimes, I would like to think that when people die, they go to a better place. But do they really? I'm not sure I believe in heaven or hell, or life after death. In that place, there is nothingness. A black hole? Cant really imagine anything. My small feeble brain cant even comprehend it, and that's how overwhelming Death makes me.

Recently, I found out that one of my friend's dad passed away almost three years ago. On one hand, I cant really empathise with her. I'm ashamed to say that. I had nothing to say. "I'm sorry". But somehow, that doesnt really cut the cake. Silence ensues into awkwardness. All I can do is pat her arm.

But on the other hand, I think she is one of the most courageous person I have yet to meet. She is so young. Yet she has already experienced such heartache. I have only become close to her this year, and I have to say, she is one of the nicest, most easy going person ever. Just looking at her, I would have never guessed that just a few years ago, she lost her father. Not only that, it happened during her HSC year. I wonder how she got through it?

Personally, I cant even imagine any one of my family members passing away. Sometimes, I try to think of the future when I'm attending my dad's funeral, or any one of my uncles or autie's in Malaysia. I mean, they are quite old (60yrs- almost 80yrs!), and one of them quite sick as well. In a way, I try to prepare myself. But I just cant comprehend that 'future'. I try to think of it, but my heart pounds so fast, my chest starts to ache, and there is that familiar prickling at the corner of my eyes.



I just cant.

I remember I once asked my dad, "What will happen if one of us dies?".
And he said: Life will just go on.

Just as simple as that? Apparently so.
"Won't you cry, or feel numb, sick, depressed etc?"
He said: "sure, I'll feel sad. But when I die, you shouldnt cry. Just think that I have had a good life, and its now my time to move on".

wow. like...f***! I would totally sink into depression! Even just thinking about it now, I cant even see the future. What would I do? What will I think? I dont think I could ever function!


...what a weakling =(



I remember the time back in high school when I thought of Death as such a trivial matter. Or rather, Life was trivial. I used to be depressed everytime I got into a fight with my sister (which is almost every second day!), and then I would wish that she was dead. Or that I was dead. I even have a suicide letter to prove it! Now when I think back to those naive times, I think I was really stupid. In many ways, I'm still not mature. But to think that I used to talk about and handle such matters so lightly...



I really admire those who have gone through this painful stage in their life. Its not easy. I dont know it. But just the fact that I cant even think of that phase in my life...


I'm too scared to even go there. Yet, I know that it will come.

Why cant life just go on....

...and on...

A Million Paws

...literally!

My friends and I attended the Million Paws Walk hosted by RSPCA (all donations go to RSPCA). It was super fun, but super tiring, and super crowded!!

At the beginning of the day, Handsome Rob was the KING OF THE WORLD!

On the 3km walk, he made some friends. Some were too cool for school,

*BUMBLEBEEEE / a cutie in a hat*

Others, he didnt like, so he tried to eat them:


But at the end of the day, it was happy families all around!

*Jny, Tommy and Chloe / Dixon, Joycie and SamSam*


*all together*

All in all, a succesful day! Handsome didnt bite, jump, scratch, murder, pee or poo randomly. His second social outing, and I'm so proud of him! =)